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Let’s talk about going for things.
How many of us have dreams, aspirations or visions that we want to go for, but just keep quietly to ourselves, with some sort of invisible barrier pulling us back?
Daring to see the life or goals we dream of; firmly putting the flag in the ground to say ‘yes, I want that, I’m going for that’.
Even just letting the words come out your mouth, or the goal to go in your journal….that action of clearly writing down what you want, where you want to aim, what you want to claim. Agh it can be a bit vulnerable.
Because once it’s out there…man, the fear of failure can start to rear its’ scary head!
We often stay in our little bubble of 'sameness', because it feels safe....the risk of failure is far less if we don't try.
But if we address the fear of failure…if we look at the possibility of failure, look at it right in the eye and go….I see you…..I meet you, and I accept the possibility of you.
To actually sit with what we're scared of, to acknowledge it, and give it a face, I find can actually start to make it less scary.
Usually when we’re afraid of failing, one of the biggest drivers of that fear is the shame that we associate with failing. Shame....agh that THING.
When I was first moving into fitness/yoga, I was absolutely terrified of putting my flag in the ground and saying I was head first going for it, freshly qualified. Genuinely so nervous.
And I remember (after listening to a great podcast talking about shame) I sat myself down and sat with the worry, or the fear. The fear of people talking about me, saying I wasn’t very good…or launching classes and having no one turn up…in other words ‘failing’.
I sat with the shame I thought it would bring, I familiarised myself with it, and it became a bit less scary.
For me figuring out what I was so scared of, writing it down, giving it a name….that made it so much easier to move past that fear and GO for it.
Some video’s popped up on my IG feed reminding me of the ‘lockdown fitness programme I ran’, and I got a little stuck down a hole of watching old little stories I’d posted from classes back in lockdown #3 of my crazy fitness/yoga timetable I ran.
I really wasn’t very good when I started. Like really.
The schedule was crackers.
The ideas were ridiculous…..I had themed cardio every Tuesday morning (Clubland Cardio/Girl Power/Motivation Music/90s/Girl Bands/Drag Race…..), Insane dance fit routines, Wild Hiit Classes, a Boxing to the Beat class I spent HOURS and HOURS and HOURS choreographing & taping choreo notes around my living room, Yin, Vinyasa and of course….Legs Bums and Tums every Monday at 7am.
But looking back, watching all these old videos, rather than cringing, I felt so proud of baby teacher Jenny.
I remember being so scared of stepping in, honestly so scared of being a massive flop, and despite not being very good for a while, MAN I grew so much over those 6 months, and got SO many opportunities after just because of seeing the fear and saying YES.
(And for those who don’t know, aye, I was sort of pushed into a corner with it - I ran a hen party business prior to COVID, and COVID hit it, similar so many other small businesses, like a ton of bricks. We fell into a loophole of government support and I really nearly lost everything, so I picked up a fitness qualification I’d begun for fun, and really was nudged by the universe to just go for IT to earn a living).
But even looking back at when I started that hen party business, straight out of drama school at 22, I was terrified, and remember telling as many people as I could as I was launching it, purely to give myself the accountability of ‘just. do. It.
So I could put it out there I was doing it, and get it in my head I was doing it, So I couldn’t get scared and back off, I just kept saying it. ‘I’m lanching a hen business’.
AND I’M SO GLAD I DID!!! Within a year, I had 80 teachers on my books, and within 2 years, we’d won ‘Best Hen and Stag Provider’ at the British Wedding Awards. We made it through COVID (with a heck of alot of work & tears at the laptop lol), and I sold up in 2023. I look back on it with such fondness and as such a fantastic period.
As I get older, I notice myself getting sometimes more cautious, more scared of failure as things have gone ‘well’….Seeing those stories of me making a t*t out of myself doing living room sprints to Spice Up Your Life last week did really serve as a reminder.
JUST GO FOR IT.
Meet the fear of looking like a wally, or failing and meet it with joy.
If you look like a wally, or you fail - YOU TRIED AND THAT’S MAGIC.
You said YES to life.
You fail want to keep trying? You get back up and you fail better!
I got rejected from my first third space audition - it was terrible. I got seen virtually, and made an audition tape after frantically googling ‘cool house music’ (despite the fact the coolest track on my playlist was ‘proud Mary’) and tried to be as edgy whilst really having not a clue what I was doing.
And yeah, I ‘failed’ initially….I got rejected and was disappointed. But I took their feedback, which was dead useful came back, and did better.
Within 12 months, I’d been offered the role of lead trainer at their largest site. Which at the time was the absolute role of my dreams, beyond what I’d ever hoped possible.
That would never have happened if I hadn’t look like an absolute fool on that first tape.
Have there been things I’ve said I’d do that have flopped? YES (including auditioning for a Burlesque performance troupe aged 19...another story for another day hehe).
Do I look back at them and care now? Not really. NO.
Do I still get scared of failure? YES!
I needed the reminder.
So here’s your reminder.
IT IS OK TO FAIL.
Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying.
Embrace the possibility - meet it like a friend, or a lover and welcome it in.
If you fail?
It means you tried.
Let this be your nudge….
If there’s something you want to start stepping into, but are scared of failure.
GO. FOR. IT. Show yourself the love of believing it’s possible and go get life.
I love you, love yourself.
And gan for it (that's go for it in Geordie)
Say yes to life. Say yes to you.
Xxxxx
Jen
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